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All our jokes listing within the Beauty jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

1.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
"My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!"said Miss Conceited.Then hes right said her little brother.Sophia Loren?... more

2.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
A little boy came running into the kitchen. Dad, dad he said, theres a monster at the door with a really ugly faceTell h... more

3.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head."Hmmm," said the doctor. "Ive no idea what it is." Th... more

4.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star. "Not... more

5.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets. The boy behind the counter said "Gosh, your ugly arent you?, Ive never... more

6.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ?Man: It did for a while - then it f... more

7.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back.Will: Pity its not on her head.... more

8.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the girl monster who wasnt pretty and wasnt ugly ?She was pretty ugly... more

9.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two.... more

10.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Dont look out of the window, Betty, people will think its Halloween.... more

11.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think thats vanity? Second girl: No, its ima... more

12.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have don... more

13.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
First witch: My beauty is timeless. Second witch: Yes, it could stop a clock.... more

14.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Fred keeps telling me that hes going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, what a shame! And youve been eng... more

15.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Fred: Whats that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!... more

16.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Girlfriend: Will you love me when Im old and fat and ugly?Boyfriend: Of course I do !... more

17.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
I cant understand why people say my girlfriends legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but they certainl... more

18.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
I dont think these photographs youve taken do me justice.You dont want justice - you want mercy !... more

19.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Im not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But thats the problem - you dont please anyone.... more

20.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Ive just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!... more

21.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. I thought it was love at first sight, said... more

22.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the worldWhat was I wearing ?... more

23.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mothers ear.Johnny, how ma... more

24.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Mary: Do you think my sisters pretty ?Gary: Well, lets just say if you pulled her pigtail shed probably say oink, oink !... more

25.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Monster: Im so ugly. Ghost: Its not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When... more

26.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Yes, they couldnt find a cran... more

27.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
My boyfriend thinks Im beautifulWell they do say that love is blind !... more

28.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.... more

29.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
People keep telling me Im beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have.... more

30.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Shes so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.... more

31.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Shes the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they cant believe it the first time.... more

32.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
They say Margaret is a raving beauty. You mean shes escaped from the funny farm?... more

33.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, I took my girlfriend to see The bride of Dracula last night.Oh... more

34.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
What did the really ugly man do for a living ?He posed for Halloween masks !... more

35.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.... more

36.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
What is yellow and goes click-click? A ball-point banana.Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older? Wizard: With luck,... more

37.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Where is everyone beautiful?In the dark.... more

38.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Who won the Monster Beauty Contest? No one.... more

39.   Category: Beauty jokes  0 stars
Your ugly.And youre drunk.Yes, but in the morning Ill be sober !... more





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