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All our jokes listing within the Christmas jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

1.   Category: Christmas jokes  0 stars
"Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?" "He said it was too tight."... more

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A football supporters favourite Christmas song?Yule never walk alone... more

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A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past.They must have had sharp ears!They were mountain-ears!... more

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A rabbits favourite Christmas song?Lettuce with a gladsome mind... more

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Can I have a broken drum for Christmas?The best thing you could have asked for. You cant beat it!... more

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Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!.Father Christmas: Cant do that one. He hasnt said... more

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Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door.Yours, Sherlock HolmesWatson: So why do you... more

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Did you hear about Draculas Christmas party ?It was a scream !... more

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Did you hear about the stupid turkey?It was looking forward to Christmas!... more

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Did you hear that one of Santas reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its true....Comet cleans sinks!... more

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Doctor, Doctor Im scared of Father ChristmasDoctor: Youre suffering from Claus-trophobia.... more

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Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think Im turning into an orange!Have you tried... more

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Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking Im a Christmas bell!Just take these pills - and, if they dont work, give me a ring!... more

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Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I cant sleep.Try lying on the edge of your bed...youll soon drop of... more

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ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve? ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!... more

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Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp.Father Christmas: Thats called The Wiz... more

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ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do? SANTA: Use a pen.... more

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Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you cant tell me why he does that... more

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Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you cant tell me why he does that... more

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Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didnt get wet! Why not?Because it wasnt raining!... more

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Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.Now thats what you call pot luck !... more

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Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.Box office attendant: Then youd better watch out... ther... more

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Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream?Lady: You certainly did!Fathe... more

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Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?Gnome : Put a five pound note between his... more

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Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow!Im on my way, Father Christmas.Father Christm... more

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Father Christmas: Whats your favourite Christmas story?Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge!Father Christma... more

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Father Christmas: Whats your favourite Christmas story?Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad... more

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Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and gives it all to Granny.Elf: Thats Little R... more

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How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?Chick to chick !... more

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How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ?A merry Christmas to ewe... more

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How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!... more

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How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?Dont feed it !... more

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How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.... more

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How long does it take to burn a candle down ?About a wick !... more

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How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?Stacks !... more

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How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !... more

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I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory... more

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I wouldnt say Christmas gnomes are small.But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!... more

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I wouldnt say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beautys skin deep then they were was born inside out!... more

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I wouldnt say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tears run down their back!... more

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If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called? A subordinate claus.... more

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It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it twice, when there came a knock at the do... more

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Ive had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas!Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition!... more

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JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? MIKE: Well have a boo Christmas without you.... more

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Last years Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.Thats probably why the oceans full of currants!... more

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Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?No you can have turkey like everyone else !... more

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My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!Doctor: Try thi... more

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Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldnt buy a kitten and parcel i... more

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One time Father Christmas lost his underpants.Thats how he got the name Saint Knickerless!... more

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Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank.Why did he do that?He was trying to save ti... more





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