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Mental Health Jokes Category:

All our jokes listing within the Mental health jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

1.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
"Great news, Mr. Oscarson," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally an... more

2.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
"The trouble is," said the entertainer to the psychiatrist, "that I cant sing, I cant dance, I cant tell jokes, I cant a... more

3.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patients room. He found Patient #1 sitting... more

4.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said t... more

5.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I cant make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"... more

6.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First Im a teepee; then Im a wigwa... more

7.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.He went there, lay on... more

8.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.Unfortunately, his watch has sto... more

9.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed. "Doc, youve got to help me. I cant go on like this.""Whats... more

10.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A man who thinks hes George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him, "Tomor... more

11.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have ob... more

12.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the sh... more

13.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permited to ski for free. Her... more

14.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A woman entered a psychiatrists consulting room leadind a kangaroo."Im worried about my husband, doctor, " she said. "He... more

15.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "Its gotten so that every ti... more

16.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out... more

17.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?... more

18.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor ! Doctor ! I think Im going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.Amazing ! so you have. How could that ha... more

19.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, I cant concentrate, one minute Im ok, and the next minute, Im blank!And how long have you had this compl... more

20.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a small bucket.You do look a little pail.... more

21.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, I feel so short!No problem. Hop up on the couch.... more

22.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking Im a spoon.Sit there and dont stir.... more

23.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights.And how long have you had this complaint?Who wants to know?... more

24.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, Doctor, I think Im a bridge. Whats come over you? Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.... more

25.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, Im manic-depressive.Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm... more

26.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, Ive only got 59 seconds to live.Wait a minute please.... more

27.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say.Tell me the truth now, whats your REAL problem?... more

28.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, nobody understands me.What do you mean by that?... more

29.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, people keep telling me Im ugly!Lay on the couch, face down.... more

30.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, people tell me Im a wheelbarrow.Dont let people push you around.... more

31.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.Dont answer!... more

32.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning." Fred: "So what?" Harry: "... more

33.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?The patients get better and l... more

34.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Just one. To threaten suicide if you dont change it for him/... more

35.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?None, hes still clinging to the old lightbulb.... more

36.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many Histrionic P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?"You want me to change the lightbulb? I could burn my hand!... more

37.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Just one. But he has to check it 100 times, one fo... more

38.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many Passive Aggressive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Oops.I cant believe I broke the last one. I guess yo... more

39.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "How long have you been having this phantasy?"... more

40.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"... more

41.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he must consult the DSM-IV.... more

42.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?"How many do you think it takes?"... more

43.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits.... more

44.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.... more

45.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?None. The light bulb will change itself when its ready.... more

46.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
In a psychiatrists waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"The se... more

47.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had... more

48.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserv... more

49.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two ba... more

50.   Category: Mental health jokes  0 stars
One behaviorist to another after lovemaking: "Darling, that was wonderful for you. How was it for me?"... more





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