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All our jokes listing within the Military jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

1.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
- How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?- Two. One to launch it, one to watch CNN to find out where it l... more

2.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
- How many Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb?- That is a military secret. If I told you Id have to kill you... more

3.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
- How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?- None. People that glow in the dark dont need... more

4.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
- What do you think about the coming battle, General?- God knows it will be lost.- Then why should we go for it?- To fin... more

5.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
- When the general comes, report to me immediately. The general doesnt show. The sergeant gets nervous and every hour re... more

6.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
- Who likes music? - asks a commander.- Two soldiers step forward.- All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment... more

7.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didnt notice a chimpanzee, escap... more

8.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Me... more

9.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I... more

10.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A general calls a colonel:- Do you have a couple of smart majors?- Yes I do.- Send them to me. I need to move my furnitu... more

11.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and s... more

12.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded... more

13.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kil... more

14.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room.- Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant.-... more

15.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do you like civilian life?""Terrible," he said gruffly, "all those people aroun... more

16.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A sailor in the Navy who had been at sea for a long time was anxious to be reunited with his girlfriend, so he sent her... more

17.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally lo... more

18.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant:- I cant drink from this mug. It has no opening.The sergeant ex... more

19.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his fr... more

20.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "M... more

21.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A trooper asks a sergeant:- Is it true that man descended from a monkey?- Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants... more

22.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, Ill turn into a b... more

23.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang... more

24.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especi... more

25.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well after a 5 hour delay waiti... more

26.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck t... more

27.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
An airforce officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he be... more

28.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was no... more

29.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just... more

30.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to t... more

31.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son had an announcement to make: Hed just signed up at an... more

32.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: "What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that object on this map?""Th... more

33.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
At Parris Island, a sergeant was teaching a private to throw a grenade at a pracitice training course. He ran about 10 y... more

34.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had s... more

35.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Colin Powell, once USAs highest ranking military officer, (now Secretary of State), loves to relate this incident from h... more

36.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendl... more

37.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
During an army basic training, the lieutenant took the batch on a match and asked each of them where home was. After eve... more

38.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by... more

39.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
During the Mexican American War, an intense long standoff occurred along the front. For days and days neither side made... more

40.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle. The Sergeant said,... more

41.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mu... more

42.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first Marine he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The Marine said, "I... more

43.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being... more

44.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being... more

45.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
General Heath, a famous lover of parade music and marching drill ceremonies, once listened to a symphonic orchestra play... more

46.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when a PFC knocked on the door.Con... more

47.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?""My father s... more

48.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
I was an Air Force ICBM launch control officer in South Dakota. Two officers pulled 24-hour alerts in a launch control c... more

49.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
In the 1970s, before women were allowed to sign up for combat duty, a man was bragging to his friends about how his sist... more

50.   Category: Military jokes  0 stars
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out takin... more





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