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All our jokes listing within the music jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

1.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
"Havent I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant."You have, Your Honor," the man answer... more

2.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
1st man: "My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three oclock this morning!"2nd man: "Did they wake you?"1st man: "N... more

3.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman aske... more

4.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.The musician calls back 25 ti... more

5.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
A saxophone is like a lawsuit.Everyone is happy when the case is closed.... more

6.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative pl... more

7.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together."Help!" cried the cellist, "I cant swim!""Dont worry,"... more

8.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be... more

9.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
An eight-year-old kid says t his dad, "When I grow up, I want to be a musician."The dad says, "I am sorry -- cant have i... more

10.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.... more

11.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign... more

12.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Do you think, Professor, that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No, I think she should put down the lid as a... more

13.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and tu... more

14.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Hey buddy. How late does the band play?About half a beat behind the drummer.... more

15.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
How do you make a bandstand?Take away their chairs... more

16.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert."Ther... more

17.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Knock KnockWhos there !Bach !Bach who ?Bach to work!... more

18.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Knock KnockWhos there !Bass !Bass who ?Bass the salt and pepper please !... more

19.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Knock KnockWhos there !Bassoon !Bassoon who ?Bassoon things will be better !... more

20.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Knock KnockWhos there !Beethoven !Beethoven who ?Beethoven is too hot !... more

21.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
One day the bass player hid one of the drummers sticks.The drummer said, "finally! After being a drummer for so long, no... more

22.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again.Person 2: Yes, but its much mo... more

23.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of th... more

24.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You dont have to be very good to get peoples attenti... more

25.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe... more

26.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test? A. Drool.... more

27.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. Whats the definition of a quarter tone? A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.... more

28.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. Whats the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road? A. The country singer... more

29.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. Whats the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owners neighbors are u... more

30.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get away from the bagpipe recital.... more

31.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards? A. So they can park in handicapped zones.... more

32.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q.How is a heart like a musician?A.They both have a beat :)... more

33.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a... more

34.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.... more

35.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving.... more

36.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How can you tell someone is a true music lover?A: When they even put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole.... more

37.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?A: By their names.... more

38.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?A: When the other tenors notice.... more

39.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?A: You can almost hear them.... more

40.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?A: With a "tuba glue."... more

41.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?A: Shoot one.... more

42.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?A: Write pp, espressivo.... more

43.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?A: You cant!... more

44.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?A: Write a whole note with "solo" above it.... more

45.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up.... more

46.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?A: The doorbell shrieks!... more

47.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.... more

48.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.... more

49.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Sit in the back and dont play.... more

50.   Category: Music jokes  0 stars
Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?A: Hide it in an accordion case.... more





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